I have been receiving a couple of calls from companies lately informing me of prizes I have won.
The first was a few days ago, from some makeover studio. Did not catch the name as the girl who called was barely even squeaking louder than a mouse.
Girl: Hi Mr (my name), this is Yadda Yadda calling from Yadda Yadda makeover studio. You have just won the second prize in a lucky draw and we are offering you a FREE makeover session with us.
Me: Sorry Minnie, can you repeat again?
Girl: (repeats)
Me: How did you get my number?
Girl: It is in a lucky draw coupon, Sir.
Me: I never enter any lucky draw this entire year.
Girl: Maybe your wife entered for you.
Me: I am not married. I am so ugly I need two layers of plaster on my face before anyone dares to spare me a glimpse. So how do you get my number again?
Girl: Erm... erm... maybe it is our marketing department.
Me: And how did they get my number?
Girl: Arrghhh... let me off, let me off! I swear I am innocent, I swear I do not know anything! I swear I made a wrong call! (Hanged up)
All right, so I did not get sarcastic nor did she went hysterical, but she did hang up in the end. Yeah, I can be quite anal sometimes. The second call from some guy calling from True Yoga.
Guy: Good evening, this is XX calling from True Yoga. I would like to congratulate you on winning a free trial with us.
Me: How did you get my number?
Guy: From our marketing department.
Me: And how did they get it?
Guy: Maybe you friend who came for the trial left it Sir.
Me: Kill that friend for me will you. Thank you. (hanged up)
Now, in both cases it scares me how they got my number and they even got my name correct. Which means this is not a random dial-a-number kind of thing. And as I mentioned, I had not filled up any survey forms or lucky draws of sorts in the past one year. So where the heck they got my data from? Some old surveys I had filled up eons ago?
I very much doubt what the guy said about a friend leaving my contact behind. First off, as a friend I do not unnecessarily divulge contact information of other without asking for permission. Hence, I do not think any of my friends will do it as well. Secondly, if a friend wants to introduce a place or product to me, he/she could have told me so directly. Thirdly, makeover and yoga? Do anybody think I actually needs that!?
Much as I doubt, I have to admit there are all sorts of people in this world. So if I do find out any of my friends are actually revealing my contact information indiscriminately, I swear I am going to flush him/her down the toilet.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Internet
My internet access has been down for the past week. This is the second time it has happened within a one year period. Some may probably think, hey, twice in a year? That is not so bad. A lot of people in Africa do not even have internet access.
Well, when I am paying a premium price (1.5 times the current price for same plan) for a broadband connection, I do not think of people in Africa. I expect to have seamless surfing 24/7, 365 days up until Armageddon. So just imagine.
When I made the call to the technical support, punched my way through the press 1 for this, press 2 for that crap and finally got to a human being, I was threatening to tear down their office and sue their asses. I am not sure if I caused the operator to pee in his pants, but it did manage to get the support team down to my place ... four days later.
Pretty crappy about the slow response, but if the service they provide to their other customers are as good as mine, it probably justify the four days. In the end, though I did say I will drop a little 'feedback' to them, I never got around to doing it.
It is just like the other time when I experience an even deeper down the shithole service from my computer warranty provider. That was one or two month in a hell bound tussle with them. I was about to blow like Krakatoa and thinking of sending them a thesis on their tortoise-like service then. In the end, I never even send an empty letter. I am just a hot air balloon.
On another note, was chatting with Jane on MSN when she made the remark I will look more like a giraffe than an elephant. Then the thought of a fat giraffe popped into my mind and that was hilarious.
Heck, why is not there a cartoon on dysfunctional animals? Like the fat giraffe. Maybe can call it Quiverin' Legs Giraf. How about an anorexic Hippo? A balding lion, giggling hyena, woolless woolly mammoth and hyperactive sloth would probably be great laughs too.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Singlehood
Looks like my singlehood will be over soon.
Da Ge, who is getting married (or only solemnised as he likes to put it) soon, and soon to be da sao is planning to unlease a throng of man-hungry single girls on us still single xiong dis during his solemnisation luncheon.
YH, who is hoping to get his stamp of approval from his target, mentioned that his target have a lot of single girlfriends who can be introduced.
With such good friends , I guess I will probably have to shelf my plan on going into monkhood for the time being. Pure and with a heart like calm waters as I am, with such constant and unrelentless bombardment, sooner or later a ripple is going to happen. When that happens, I will have to rob a bank to upkeep my lifestyle.
Friday, October 13, 2006
REACH
A simple and straightforward name. Conventional as it sound, there is no way of misunderstanding what function it performs.
Now with its grand revamp, it is call REACH - Reaching Everybody for Active Citizenry @ Home. Wow, what a mouthful.
Now, I understand the need for the restructuring and an image revamp. For a unit which act as a communication channel between the government and the people through, what else but feedbacks from the citizens, it has not really made much of an impact with the population at large. This change is long overdue.
I even understand the need for a change of name since it no longer is contented with just receiving feedbacks (one-way) but wants to engage Singaporeans in discussions (two-ways) and activating changes.
But Reaching Everybody for Active Citizenry @ Home? Somehow, it just makes me cringe. It sounded too fancy pansy, too slick. And hey hey, abbreviate it and it becomes REACH!
Now I can accept true blue abbreviation like LTA, HDB, MRT etc. However, when you have a long name that abbreviates into a word which tries to convey a message, it can either be a very smart play of words or plain goosebumps inducing.
In this case, I will vote for the latter.
I will go further and make the bold deduction that over time, most will remember REACH, but few will know it is an abbreviation and what it stands for. I will not even be surprise if people still refer to it as the Feedback Unit.
Maybe that will be the first piece of 'active engagement' I will give them.
Oh, by the way, I ama guy who is handy, articulate, nice, diligent, suave, observant, mature and efficient. It is okay if cannot remember all. I will understand. Just call me HANDSOME.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Haze
The only thing that woke me up to reality was the smell and it's definitely not because I farted.
Well, the haze is not a bad thing actually. It at least gave me one legitimate reason not to exercise, something I've not done since the first dinosaur egg cracked.
Running before my morning shift? Nay, too early, haze makes air quality bad and the plants are still producing carbon dioxide. Running after work? Nay, too late, too tired and haze makes the air quality bad. Swimming? Swimming pool’s too far and I'm swimming in the haze now anyway. Badminton? Okay, haze doesn't really affect but I've got no kakis.
So no exercise, unless standing on my feet for 8 hours per day counts.
On another note, I wonder if the cancellation my reservist later this month was due to the haze. Well, I doubt it since my unit isn't really that nice and the haze will probably be gone by then.
Nevertheless, to inform me of a November reservist in April, have it cancelled in May and reassign me for another reservist in late October and then cancel it late last week says a lot of the planning of my unit.
It's precisely because they've informed me 5 months ago and no wind of any cancellation within this period, the 2 weeks reservist was plotted into my attachment schedule to other departments. Now that it's called off after I started my attachment, I thought my attachment schedule will be pushed up.
However, lo and behold, my manager decided that he doesn't want to send another email to the department heads to reschedule my attachment and will have me pulled back to the department instead.
I can't really fathom the logic behind this decision. I'm only on attachment. I'm not on a headcount when at the other departments. On top of that, the other departments haven't even plotted me into their roster. There won't be any hassle for them.
So why? Of course, I was only informed of the decision and not called in for discussion. Maybe there're certain plans for me. I have no inkling of what they will be, but it do mean one thing – work.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Scared
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Uniform Change
Naturally, rotation of departments means a change of uniform whenever I move to various departments. That's when the problem comes in. My own set of uniform (of my own department) is tailor made for me as I seem to have the hands of a gorilla and the legs of a giraffe. And I'm talking about the length here, not the amount of hair.
Thus, fitting me for the uniforms of other department proves to be a challenge. The uniform room can't possibly tailor make the various uniform for me since it doesn't make money sense when I will be in each department for less than a week.
The next best thing – uniform snatching.
I'm not talking about ripping the uniform off someone if it fits me and leaving them naked. Or semi-naked, always assuming they are wearing under-clothing.
I'm talking about borrowing the uniform (that fits me) of people on long leave or who had just resigned. Otherwise, I will have to end up wearing suits and shirts one size bigger. Add on a sunflower in my suit pocket, a red nose and a pair of big-toed shoes, I will qualify as the company clown.
The first snatching was a moderate success. I had the suit of someone who recently left the company. However, the sleeve length still runs slightly short for both the suit and shirt. It isn't too bad so long I keep my hands either in my pockets or behind my back.
Then again, there are always the chances of people misconstruing me hiding my hands while scratching certain parts of my body. Oh well, I can't really have a win-win situation here. Hopefully the next uniform will be more fitting.