Silent Facade

Yeah, it's coming to that time of the year now where everything red appears.

I'm not really talking about the ang baos that get dish out during the Lunar New Year (LNY), though that's part of it. What I'm talking about is the little red hanky that's closely associated with the matchmakers of the past. Oh, and don't forget that mole on their chin (at least that's how TV portrays matchmakers 90% of time).

That's right, with the LNY round the corner, it's time for those age old mtchmaking traditions to come out in hoards, attacking those single and unattached like the monster army in Lord of the Ring.

It gets worse in a working environment like mine, where the aunties will start prospecting single male and female fervently like the gold prospectors in San Fransico of yesteryears.

"You confirm single and unattached huh. Good. How old are you now? Wah, time to get girl/boy-friend la (doesn't matter if the answer is 10 or 30). What's your zodiac sign? Monkey? Wah, monkey good ah! (actually any zodiac sign will receive a 'good ah!' reply). Which type of girl/boy-friend you like? Oh, I know someone that type. Don't worry, don't worry."

Yup, these aunties have a databank of highly eligible, eligible and not-so-eligible-but-still-got-hope singles that the Social Development Unit will be ashame of. And I'm not even refering to their combined lists. I'm sure they even have a lelong list for those that don't fit into the 3 categories above.

I was one of those shortlisted candidates (don't ask me which category I fit into). Two days ago, when I joined my colleague for lunch (she was sitting with 2 auntie room attendants), she turned to me and said, ' Auntie wants to invite you to her house during LNY.'

Well, okay, I was thinking that's pretty normal.

'She wants to introduce someone to you.'

Uh-oh.

'Ya ya. You must come ah. I know this girl very pretty one. She's a teacher. Confirm single. I introduce you la!' the auntie cut in, ' You must bring your photo tomorrow hor.'

...............

'No need la. You want to matchmake must go in order ma. Help M first la. She 30 already leh.' Trying to deflect attention.

Colleague: 'Ya, last year auntie already introduce when M went to her house already. Hahaha. But still no hope.'

The other auntie cut in, 'She 30 still got change or not?'

Colleague: 'Ya, I think still got a few cents change la (i.e. few months short of 30th birthday). Hahaha.'

Auntie 2: 'Ya, must try to help her first.'

Yes! Deflection successful, I thought. Until yesterday lunch again, sitting with those aunties, auntie 1 asked me, 'So you got bring your photo or not? No? Tomorrow must bring ah!'

Ah dui! Headache la. Dealing with these persistent aunties, I guess the only way is to avoid them for now. What's with LNY and matchmaking anyway?